Here lies my online journal, but you don't see everything that's written. When I really feel the feels, I save the post as a draft. I've been really into my love story lately (the one with Stephen, of course) and looking at pictures/letters/posts/etc. Then I found this one tucked away in the interwebs. The year of Stephen and I was a doozy for me, and I want it all to be documented properly.
*Written Summer 2015
Oh moses,
how I've been away from such reflection.
I think 2015 has been the hardest yet.
January swept me off my toes. I started out this year as a naive and probably desperate 21-year-old with big dreams of marrying my library crush.
Then my greek god of a best friend came around and left my stomach turning like old chicken salad.
In my independent youth, I had this beautiful checklist for my future boyfriend.
And he's more.
I knew it from the look at Qualtrics and when he drove me to see the arrow lights.
& how my magical city stole his heart, just like mine.
He calls me his "moon" and I call him "schmeagle"
Caring about someone else to the "relationship" degree actually hurts sometimes. During the past few months, I've seen more flaws come out of me than swear words at a southern bbq. Like, I still don't have a filter and hurting people's feelings got easier. I'm usually good with change, but then you accidentally dress depression like a toaster strudel and shove it down your best friend's throat.
personality side-effect: although people-pleasing sounds guilt-free, you will see signs where you treat minor by-standers better than you treat the people who actually know your middle name.
I think I'm an extremely unintentional bridezilla, and that's who sponsored this post.
No comments:
Post a Comment