That's my child you're eating.
(pause, wait....what?)
The shock in your pupils is correct, I am pregnant. However, it's not the shock I had when I found out. If I hadn't gotten pregnant by summer, I would have swallowed a baby doll by August.
I was ready for the attention, the post-throw-up sympathy, and the "I'm too weak to work out" jargon I had already planned for Stephen.
BUTT (‿ˠ‿)
(I have to start acting immature since I have a very young tweenager in my uterus).
Pregnancy hasn't been too crazy. Sure, I get nauseous. Sure, I get tired. But I can still function pretty normally. Disappointing? I know. I will wait for the third trimester back pain for additional sympathy. Please hold for further updates, complaints, and requests for homemade cookies (Mom).
For my future reference - a brief timeline.
May 14 - first day of my last period (bye bloody pants and cotton sticks - aka I hate you)
June 7 - a tiny patch of pre-period spotting, or is it implantation bleeding??? I asked the same thing. We went to Red Robin that night and I got major bloated...stay tuned.
June 10 - Spotting stopped, and the period is being shy. She usually comes around now--is she scared of what I'd do to her if she came into my life again? I tell Stephen, and we go buy a pregnancy test (since the $1 store one I bought came out as "inconclusive"). Sure enough, my pee knew best.
July 9 - First appointment. Heartbeat is strong. My tilted uterus made it a little difficult for a good pic. But after a few uncomfortable positions with the invasive camera stick, we have our child.
(insert picture of little leech sac)
July 11 - Cramps that sent me to the ground. Thought I was miscarrying. Was actually a very small kidney stone.
That's all folks. I wish I had more gory details for you. In the meantime, pray for me to have a pregnancy-induced throw-up sesh, because I don't know if Stephen is fully convinced that his large forehead is living in my under-belly pooch.
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