aghhhh

This is NOT a letter to the reader.
This is a letter to YOU.

These past few months, you've felt defeated. Trust me, I know. I can feel it in your boredom, in your extended part-time paid internship, and in the way you over-describe or justify your current--what you call "quarter-midlife crisis." You use time as an excuse. You let what others post on social media control your emotional stability.

and girl, I'm sick of it.

Hey, it's 2017 and you're not going to take your shirt off and rally for women's rights, BUT AS SURE AS HECK YOU CAN FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE POWER OVER YOURSELF. Like c'mon, you let the smallest things trigger the smallest parts of your brain. Isn't there something bigger inside of you that can take on something the size of a jelly bean. I'm sick of wiping away tears when I feel anxious and scared.

So, yesterday (yes, just yesterday), I finally decided to change.
Not my fears,
but how I control my fears.

I came up with this starter kit:

Positive thinking
Better scripture reading
Working harder at the gym
Taking smaller steps
& a LARGE AMOUNT OF PRAYER

Sorry for all the F-words, but I FREAKING WANT TO PUNCH A WALL with all the power I feel inside me. Positive thinking, Carly, THAT'S LITERALLY ALL YOU NEED.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop feeling like you're stuck in an imaginary gopher hole, and STOP THINKING YOU'RE LESS THAN WHAT YOU ACTUALLY ARE.

There 2017, I've finally got this.