| love ||

"title"

(A narrative with zero sap, mild detail, and 100% wit)

Fall 2006 - I was standing in "A" hall at Mountain Ridge Junior High and, "oh my gosh," Stephen Hill is walking towards me.

I was a small 7th grader--who still wore tight shade shirts with a thin sports bra (a common trend among most puberty-stricken girls in the mid-2000's). He was a tall 9th grader with braces. 

This girl in my ward was in love with him, so we were always aware of said Stephen Hill.

fffaallluuughghhuooop (fast forward noise) to 7 years later

Fall Semester 2013

My college freshman year ended, as well as my social life (goodbye to everyone on missions). I spent the summer with limited male contact and lots of froYo. I created baby ulcers when I thought about Sophomore year, but I knew it was going to be good. I roomed at Liberty Square and my 5 roommates and I were as unique and unified as the Kardashian sisters; life was good.

Stephen finished his mission (Paraguay) in August and was living with mission buds @ lib square. He started working early mornings at the MTC and had a girlfriend.

I was set out to make a universe of friends, and Stephen's roommates were too. They started the weekly tradition of Cinema Sunday. I went to the first Cinema Sunday by myself. I walked up to Jamestown 21, grabbed the door handle, and paused. Did I turn the handle? No. Did I pace for 3 minutes, call my mom, and leave to go for a drive? Yes. 

Background: I taught Primary in the home ward that summer, and people who could actually keep their clothes on in public & not give wet willy's to their neighbors STILL FRIGHTENED ME.

I regained courage and started going over to their apartment for Cinema Sundays with my roommate, Leti. I never saw Stephen there because he worked early Monday mornings and went to bed early Sunday nights, BUT I started to become good friends with his roommates. Eventually, Jamestown had a small gathering over for smoothies, and by some heaven-sent miracle, Stephen was there and we finally "met." It probably went something like, "I know you, but you don't know me......(pause) oh, I should probably explain now."

The semester went on and Leti and I continued building our friendship with Jamestown 21. Stephen was a hard one to catch, but we eventually connected with him at a winter ward activity. 

Winter Semester 2014

Stephen and Leti had Nutrition together. They would randomly study and such, so I started seeing him at my apartment more. We talked him through random crushes, and he heard a lot about the boys I stalked. Jamestown 21 loved going on group dates, so Leti and I became the back-ups when their girls would flake. We were officially their bros.

Spring/Summer Semester 2014

I went on my study abroad to Europe; Stephen lived at home to play Tarzan. He started dating the choreographer. I stayed in mild contact with Stephen, sending the occasional snapchat. I came back from Europe and went to EFY for a few weeks. During this time, Stephen's kind-of girlfriend left for six weeks for her study abroad. Stephen and Leti hung out all the time now, so I would usually catch them on Saturdays. Girlfriend returned from Europe and nothing continued between her and Stephen. 

Before the summer began, I gave Leti a mission to find me a boyfriend (since I'd be out of Provo and she wanted something to do). I gave her a list titled, "My Man," with qualities and musts for my dating pleasure. Sorry for saying "pleasure." Toward the end of summer, part of the gang (Christian, Stephen, Leti, and I) went to Arizona for Justin and Makinsey's wedding. The list made its reappearance on the road trip home, after discussing her failure in not finding me a man (oddly enough she was hanging out with Stephen the whole summer). I read the list out loud, imagining the whole time about my long-shot Provo crush who helped inspire the list. I finished and Christian said, "The person you just described is Stephen; do you want to marry Stephen?" I was baffled, I read through it again and again. I couldn't believe it. I never liked him more than a friend. He actually intimated me, and I had never felt 100% comfortable around him. Honestly, it was hard for us to be good friends in the beginning because he only treated me like his little sister. So to make up for this fallacy, I explained my list with an analogy. I said, "Let's compare everyone's dating brand (who they are generally attracted to) to snack food. My brand is Cheez-its; it's a very broad snack with many flavors. Stephen happens to fit in this category, but the person I'm specifically describing in this list is a "Colby Jack" flavor, while Stephen is a "Pepperjack." You see, Stephen fits the general brand of who I'd be interested in dating, but he is not my flavor. Basically, HE IS NOT MY CHEEZ-IT."

Remember this for later. 

Fall Semester 2014

Everyone returned to Provo, and we all started hanging out like bad gas at a bean convention. I set Stephen up with who I thought would be his future wife. They dated for a few weeks and then he broke it off. It was an October night, and I decided to break the touch barrier with my guy friends--they were basically my brothers anyway. We were all best friends at this point, especially Stephen, Leti, and I. Late November, I got my first kiss on a planned kiss cam at a BYU basketball game; Stephen almost came that night, and if he did, the gang would have had him do it instead of my other friend. 

Early December, a group of us went to Temple Square. I noticed that I liked touching Stephen more than the other boys (I am not a pervert), and I decided to make him my "fake boyfriend" for the night. Confession: at this point, I've never held a boy's hand, so I thought since I've already broken the touch barrier, I might as well practice on my hot friend. I held his hand throughout the night as a complete joke. Later that night, we ran into my LIBRARY CRUSH and we talked to him. Stephen told me after we started dating, "I thought to myself that night, he doesn't deserve her. And at the time, I thought, that was a weird thought to have about Carly." Remember, we're still just best friends at this point. Around Christmas break, we tried to rekindle him with his ex-summer girlfriend. Still, didn't work out. Right before Winter semester started, Leti, Stevo, and I went on an SLC trip (body worlds, Capitol building, East High, and gelato). I jumped on Stephen's back and Leti took a snapchat and captioned it "Cutest Couple 2015." It kind of became this thing, and everyone always asked us about it (she would make the snaps look like we were dating, so it was hard to explain).

Winter Semester 2015

Throughout the next few weeks, things started changing between Stephen and I (p.s. I'm still oblivious as crap at this point). I had more time open during the day so I would chill at the boys' apartment more. Stephen was starting to feel a little different about me but told no one. January 9th, we all played broom hockey. We went back to the boys' apartment and watched Gladiator. On the little couch, it was Leti, Stephen in the middle, and me on the other side. I started falling asleep on him because he felt like a large muscular teddy bear. Halfway through the movie, I woke up and he lodged his entire body (very much asleep) on top of mine and unconsciously stuck his hand on my bare hip. 220 pounds on my lungs, but I survived. I tickled his head because I had nothing to do with my hands. His roomies came in and were very confused, and of course, I couldn't move. Movie ended, he got up and said, "I don't remember anything that happened." Ha good. OK. Let's pretend that this was normal. Leti and I stayed up till 4:54 am talking about how funny it was. We all made fun of him for it because it was weirder than the shredded carrot jello my mother makes every Thanksgiving.

A week later, I randomly get work off and end up going to one of their mission buddy's receptions in SLC. Music starts, Stephen: "Let's go dance." uhhhh, ok. The dance was good, half of it was dancing next to a lesbian couple. I started talking about EFY and how I felt like I had more power being a counselor than in adult life (because kids look up to you more). Stephen: "You actually have a lot more power than you think (as he gazes into my eyes)." uhhh, alright. Warning: I never let myself assume anything with this kid because it was Stephen Hill, and I thought he was going to marry a model. That night, we watch another movie, and this time I sat in the middle between Leti and Stephen. He asked me if I was scared of snakes and if I ever went on trek (like first-date questions). "uh I guess, and yes I went twice" (what is happening to this child who has never cared about reptiles or my pioneer experiences?). We snuggled more and I figured it was just like a cuddle-buddy/best friend kind of thing?

Stand next to a fan and throw up a diaper,

cuz crap about to get real.

Thursday (January 22)

Stephen casually talks to Leti, he begins, "You know how Carly told Christian that if they both weren't married at 30, they would get married? I didn't like when they started talking about that because I wish I would have done it first. I could marry Carly at 29, heck 26. Actually, I could see myself marrying her now. Everyone thinks we're dating, why aren't we."

This really came out of nowhere because he hasn't vocalized anything about it yet and here he comes with the marriage card. Leti just says, "cool" as she secretly screams inside. She comes home and tells me everything "basically, I think Stephen likes you." WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT. I didn't know if I really liked him because I never let myself think that EVER. I also knew we were going to date and then get married, and it was just a lot to take in. Here I am, never had a real first kiss/boyfriend/anything and I'm going to be married by the end of the year to....Stephen? That was the only time Stephen ever opened up about it because he was still debating breaking the friend zone with me. The next week was cray. I couldn't focus on anything. 

(p.s at this time, all of our friends have no idea what's going on with our cuddling, and I had nothing to tell them because I still had no idea what the       was going on)

Friday

We go to sushi with some friends. On my way there I talk to my dad on the phone about borrowing one of his sweatshirts. "Carly, how are you going to find a husband when you look like a bag lady." "Uh dad, I think it will probably work out (shifty eyes)." "You know, I bet he's already found you, he's just waiting for your approval or something."

OK PSYCHIC FATHER, GOODBYE. After sushi, Stephen: "I'll see you tonight, right?" (as he hugs me). Me: "sweet Moses." He goes to a hockey game, I go to work. Weird circumstances happen and he gets stuck in SLC and we don't hang out that night.

Saturday

We go to Sundance with friends (normal). I go to work but then went over after to watch a movie (which I understand now is code for cuddling). I walk in and he moves to an empty couch and puts his arm out like, "come sit next to me babe." I do as follows. I'm still like //what's going on with my life// but also keep going through the motions.

Sunday/Monday

I don't see him much. I almost go over to his apartment before he goes to bed early, but he told Leti, "tell her not to come over, I'll get too excited and then not be able to fall asleep." ohmygosh, the sleeping giant is perfect.

Tuesday (the day I realize I'm in love with Stephen B. Hill)

I'm still as confused as Nemo in the fish tank. I'm talking to Christian in the library and am like, "Dude, you have to give me something; he hasn't talked to anyone except Leti almost a week ago. Feed me your knowledge." He goes, "He hasn't told me too much, but the other day, I walk in and ask what's going on between you and Carly and he says, "I don't know man." Then I asked if he was attracted to you, he said, "more and more every day.""

Bingo. that's all I needed. That night, we go to Qualtrics for this recruiting thing. Stephen has to go to bed at 6:30 and was going to stop by to get dinner at the event. Christian and I get there and we realize that the food won't be out until 7. I text Stephen and Leti and tell them not to come because they won't make it. It was 6:07, Stephen and Leti had already begun driving and questioned if they should go because of his bedtime. BUT, they started talking and Stephen was planning on just dropping her off, but then decided to push his bedtime back (he doesn't ever do this) and go inside. I thought they were mad at me because they never texted back, but then I saw Stephen walk in. I thought he was going to be bugged that I told him to come under the circumstances, so I expected him to come in with a mellow face. BUT he walked in beaming and walked straight over to me. & I lost it, and I admitted to being in love with him right there (I think I knew it all along).

Wednesday

We still haven't talked about all the ish in the air. We hang out the whole day, the WHOLE DAY. We almost kiss that night. I tell him we need to go for a drive.

Thursday

We hang out all day (the usual at this point). We finally go on that drive. I talk for the first 30 minutes, kind of ranting about everything that's been happening for the past three weeks and then finally I make him spill his little kidney beans. We park at the Y and talk talk talk talk talk talk. Finally, "I debated this for a long time because we were such good friends, and I knew if I started dating you then we would get married." That was that. We became official, oh and then kissed for the first time ever (my official first kiss ever).

We said "I love you" a week later because we really knew it all along.

& we're almost almost engaged.

& it's the most natural thing in the whole wide world.