"College Facts for the Newbies"
BYU edition
Written by the experienced
Miss. Carly Davis
*Additional notes from Editor*
"So you think you're a college newbie? Well i'm here to address the following concerns and questions that typical freshman have every year."
*Seriously? Boring beginning, add some spice!*
"Freshman. Freshman. So it's a change from the tender carpet snags in your Mother's living room. We've all been through it, my week of experience has already been quite beneficial towards my "expected" journey of self improvement. Here are the findings and facts of BYU Freshman stuff and the whole living on your own thing.
Either read this or fail your independent life."
*Last part might be too harsh.*
"Good luck."
"List? ok, if you insist.
1. When you begin NSO (New Student Orientation), it's going to feel like EFY dated the number 3098, and sparks flew like crazy.
You follow a leader and play games in circles. The cool people won't line dance and pathetic flirting is what you get with every provided ice-cream cone.
But, it's helpful and you will meet people going into your major.
2. Your mom will get the coolest mom of all moms first place award, but my mother already won that award that all moms aspire to have on their mom shelf, but...second place offers a nice oven mitt.
3. Say goodbye to Seminary and meet it's Royal brother, Book of Mormon
4. Always wash your dishes
5. Get an apartment with male apartments around you...I see more estrogen out my window than a girls' locker room.
5. Shave your legs, apparently college students appreciate a soft calf
6. Trying to avoid Freshman 15? Buy a Slim Fast.
7. Meet with the advisor for your major, their job is to save lives.
8. LIST DONE!."
*You can't end your book here! Finish the list!!*
"So here's the real roast beef.
Sunset drives, Imagine Dragons, York mints, Attractive Seniors, Quality couch, Headbanz board game, Graduation plan...Go Cougars."
*We can't publish this*
"Perfect."
2. Your mom will get the coolest mom of all moms first place award, but my mother already won that award that all moms aspire to have on their mom shelf, but...second place offers a nice oven mitt.
3. Say goodbye to Seminary and meet it's Royal brother, Book of Mormon
4. Always wash your dishes
5. Get an apartment with male apartments around you...I see more estrogen out my window than a girls' locker room.
5. Shave your legs, apparently college students appreciate a soft calf
6. Trying to avoid Freshman 15? Buy a Slim Fast.
7. Meet with the advisor for your major, their job is to save lives.
8. LIST DONE!."
*You can't end your book here! Finish the list!!*
"So here's the real roast beef.
Sunset drives, Imagine Dragons, York mints, Attractive Seniors, Quality couch, Headbanz board game, Graduation plan...Go Cougars."
*We can't publish this*
"Perfect."
Why stop at your legs??? Neck maybe??
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